Il pleu comme vache, avec un grande prostate, qui pisse! C2C Day Five, Part 1

By Simon

The Weather : I’m not sure what a 40% chance of rain really means, but if you added up all the percentages for today it totalled 370%, and so we set off in a moderate state of precipitation.

The first cow load of rain was delivered by an ageing male cow (aka a bull) with an enlarged prostate, I assume they have one? The flow, initially good, tailed off into a prolonged disappointing dribble, just enough to wet the front of your trousers – yes we are approaching that age!

When it finished, the day was gentle and the weather looked promising. I think it was Barney who said it wasn’t raining! The gods delivered another cow load of rain but this time cold and with a vicious wind that followed us most of the day. The only sun was the sun flowers and they dropped their heads in shame!

The Route:  it went up and then down and repeated – if you haven’t got that yet you have not been paying attention!

Today in Numbers:

  • 140 – kms cycled
  • 18,000 – the number of times Geoff’s left knee has reminded him its there!
  • 3 – the average of layers of skin exfoliating from individuals bottoms. It will sustain the tadpoles when they hatch!
  • 35 – hot chocolates
  • 9 – bowls of chips
  • 11 – litres if water on the cafe floor (again!)
  • 17 – the number of bikes for sale at lunchtime
  • 2 – apparent temperature (with wind chill for most of the day)

What Have We Learnt Today?

  • Hail hurts your eye balls at 40 kmh.
  • French roads are beautifully made but their shelves are rarely horizontal.
  • Sarah’s right buttock is now so finely tuned it can melt a patt of butter in less than a minute – with the right training and used for the forces of good this could become a new super hero power!
  • It is hard to cycle straight when shivering violently (we should have learnt this one on Tuesday – BD).
  • Geoff must have a bit of Yorkshire grit in his backbone, sadly though some of it seems to have floated off and lodged in his knee!

And Finally……the weather has certainly added a little something to this week. It has however robbed us of some views. So two things seem certain : we will all have to come back and do it again (Mountain High offer 50% discount for returning customers – only joking Chris and Helen!) and this time tomorrow we will all be missing it!


2 thoughts on “Il pleu comme vache, avec un grande prostate, qui pisse! C2C Day Five, Part 1

  1. FOMO! Not at all but hats off to you all for perseverance and getting the job done! You will emerge from this wonderful trip as a group with a shared experience that NOBODY can ever take away from you! You are all unique in different ways but the team always pulls together. Boy what a team you have become! Live strong and cycle long…


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